Let's start by backtracking here back to the days when I was 12 and imitating Brittney Spears and Ms. Stini Aguilera as much as I could. I had a choreographed dance to all their songs and a little school girls outfit I'd made myself. I should've been taken away from my parents after that one. My Mom quickly kaboshed it and threw some LeAnn Rhymes at me. Much more wholesome... at that time point. Ms. LeAnn had herself some fun in the past few years but all's fair right??
My point here is that I grew up idolizing these ladies:
Which isn't a big deal... if I wasn't stinking 12! I remember when Slave For You came out, all I wanted to do was dance around with my panties over my jeans. I mean maybe I was the exception or something, but I'm going to say that wasn't the best influence. I love B. Spears... and the Black Lace beach cover up she wore to the Red Carpet. But no... not something my small child will ever idolize. Then you can take Ms. Stini Nasty Girl. I LOVED her, I loved her songs and I had no clue what they meant, but dang did I like em. Now she went through her wild phase and she has mostly come out the other side. But did my 13 year old self need to watch her pose around in ass-less chaps and see her looking like she'd been gang banged (this is going to be great for my search hits)? No I did not need that influencing me at such a young age. Did I come out ok... sure I'm not a complete loon and I cover my ta-tas in public so it's all good. But do I want my small easily influenced children looking up to something far beyond their sexual maturity level?? Hell No. So without further ado:
Dear Taylor Swift,
Girl you are gorgeous and you know it so rock on. Yes you may flail around awkwardly and make me cringe. Maybe just do a little more swaying around and a little less dramatic head movements. Yes people seem to take delight in putting you down. It's fine honey it's fine. You're laughing all the way to the bank so good for you. Do you enjoy your life? Good you should you're earning it.
Do I think you have some guy issues? Praise Jesus yes ma'am, but I look back to myself at 17/18/19/20/21/22... My boy issues were worse I promise. So what at 18 you thought you were in love and y'all broke up. More power to you for writing a song about it. I praise you for not drinking your way through it underage. Bravo chica. So you had a Bad Boy Boyfriend in John Mayer? Little older, little dirtier, and he made you feel bad about yourself? Well what do ya know at 22 I had the same damn problem. I've never felt more inadequate in my life. Thank you for not running around in assless chaps to get over it. You hold out pretty lady for someone who makes you happy and don't compromise. So many people do and I'd rather not compromise and be happy, than compromise and be miserable. If he's not your Prince Charming you just move on. Thank you for not staying in stupid relationships and having a public feud over a guy on the Red Carpet. You're young and your Prince will come. Kudos.
I don't think I can say thank you enough honestly for being so wholesome. I cannot express my gratitude that young girls look up to you and you've never flashed some nip, or exited a car pantyless for everyone to see. You wear cardigans and long flowy skirts as you ride your bike in music videos. Not leather chaps and a bra. THANK YOU. You aren't slutting it up 24/7, which I appreciate. I did that and it wasn't pretty and I blame B. Spears and Ms. Stini... they made it look fun.
But seriously Thank You for not being big into drugs ( Cough Cough Amanda Bynes) and for being awkward and being outspoken enough to say this relationship isn't working. I may not be your target audience and I may cringe every time they pan to you when you dance. But let's be honest... I'm sure at 22 my dance moves were much less wholesome and just as awkward. Thanks for not grinding on some guys junk in public. Thank you for not tonguing random people in music videos and nakedly running around. Thank you for being the kind of star that if my young young daughter sang your songs I wouldn't have a panic attack. Thank you for being someone that I can raise a child around and I'm not worried you'll lead them into sex and depravity. Thank you for not being trashy. Thank you for being a real human being. Thank you for being a teenage girl, turning young lady stumbling her way through life just like most of us do.